Introducing our Super Single Parent of the Month, Swati AKA The Muffin Mom!
Do join me as I welcome her here as she shares a story of massive level-up in the aftermath of an abusive marriage and its dissolution. She is a real multi-tasker and an integral part of ‘The Village’.
Swati’s story highlights the importance of turning one’s hobby into a successful side hustle and adapting to a new life necessary to achieve different results. She is the owner of a home baking business called The Muffin Mom which you can find on Instagram as @the_muffin_mom
Please, make way for our Queen, Swati!
Q1. What have you done in your life that would surprise the people closest to you?
I was always been a headstrong girl, fighting my way thru societal norms. But when it came to marriage, I changed, a lot! I compromised on the quality of life, endured a lot. I gave the relationship all I could, I persevered a lot as I had to give it my best shot. No one thought I could bear so much, so that did surprise a lot of people!
Q2. What was your dream as a child? Did you fulfil it, either as a full-time profession, a side hustle, or a hobby?
I always wanted to be a singer. I couldn’t take it up professionally, but I do sing and make Youtube videos, and I have planted the seeds of this singing bud in my daughter too. She’s an amazing singer for her age!
Q3. Who are your role models, and what are the qualities that they possess that makes you admire them? (This does not have to be a celebrity).
I look up to all the Single parents and appreciate the tremendous efforts they put in to make ends meet.
Q4. What is the bravest thing you have ever done?
Walked into a psychiatrist’s clinic, alone, realizing that I had symptoms of depression and I needed help and I am glad that I did!
Q5. What’s the one thing you’d like to do before you die?
Have a music album of mine!
Q6. In your opinion, is the environment or education more important when raising a child?
It is parenting that’s most important for a child. We cannot control the environment or situations, but we can control how the child reacts and responds to that situation. Good education definitely is important to aid their mental ability and decisiveness. I don’t believe in being super educated but a lack of basic morals and civility definitely bugs me!
Q7. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you’d buy?
A beautiful island surrounded by sea and dolphins all around.
Q8. Are you content by yourself?
Tricky question! Let’s just say that I am content with the decisions I have taken in life and the path I have chosen.
Q9. What advice would you give someone who is currently stuck in a toxic relationship?
Toxic relationships sap out the energy out of a person, emotionally, physically, and even financially. Please assess the impact on you and your kids. Of course, there are times when we compromise for several reasons. But it is not ok to compromise on your wellbeing, as it will have a lifelong impact. Please talk to people whom you trust, as piled up emotions are very harmful. Take the necessary steps required to move out. Take all the help you need from your loved ones. Go for therapy, there’s no shame in doing so. Most importantly be happy, because you deserve to be!
Q10. Who is your all-time celebrity crush?
Haha, my crushes have changed a lot with time. Am currently crushing Justin Baldoni, don’t get me started about him!!
Q11. Have you changed as a person since becoming a Single Parent, if yes, how?
Oh yes! Definitely, I changed. I have become a more confident person. I don’t get intimidated and manipulated by anyone. I don’t really care about society and “ log kya kahange”. I have my views and I stick to them. And I raise my child in the same confident way.
Q12. What are the qualities that you possess that you absolutely love?
I am a very sociable person and make friends well. People like being around me.
I don’t sulk for long, I try to be happy in any situation, which gives me the strength to keep going.
I believe in living today to the fullest.
Q13. Was there something your parents did raising you, that you swore you’d never do yourself?
I was raised in a very happy and supportive family. I always imagined my married life also to be so. I could face whatever challenges life posed on me, because of the confidence my parents built in me. I believe this is the most important. Additionally, I would also like to show my daughter that life isn’t always a bed of roses. We should be prepared for any kind of surprises, otherwise, it becomes a nasty shock.
Q14. How have your notions of what it means to be a woman changed over your lifetime?
I have always believed in women being strong and independent. But I always thought it’s two people show to raise a family and to be “happy”. My life has taught me that it isn’t! I don’t need another person ( ya, I mean the husband!) to be happy and to have my family! It can be just the woman or the woman with her kid(s) or even with her parents. It’s what she chooses that makes her happy, not some societal norms.
Q15. What do you do on the days that you find it hard to love yourself?
I take time off, go for a drive, I sing, I cook or bake a muffin. I do talk to my loved ones who remind me that I am Awesome!
Q16. How would you describe a perfect day?
A day when my daughter listens to everything I say without arguing like a teenager! Isn’t that perfect?
Q17. What advice would you give your younger self at 20?
Oh, so many! At a young age, we don’t think at all, we are just swayed by newfound emotions. I wish I would have analyzed situations better, I wish I loved myself more, in that case, I wouldn’t have gone searching for love.
Q18. Now that you are a baker, can you share with us a baking hack that you chanced upon that you think is pretty awesome!
I always thought cakes and cookies have to be made with refined flour and loaded with sugar. I started baking with whole wheat flour, Almond flour, and oat flour and alternates for sugar, or in fact lesser sweetness altogether. And am super amazed by the yummy end results.
Q19. What would be your 3 tips to single parents on how to handle life.
Your kid has you, that’s all the reason for her/him to be happy. Don’t go into the guilt trap!
Take help! U need not be ashamed to ask for help. It indeed takes a village to raise a child.
Whatever your situation be, accept it and embrace it. Your confidence will be passed on to your child. You are a super single parent, make the child super strong too!
Q20. What are your deal breakers in a friendship?
Being judgmental. Everyone has their point of view. I make my decisions based on my circumstances, it might not need to be the case with others. There is no right and wrong, so no judgments, please!